It's not as if I've forgotten
by LadyLilyMalfoy
Summary: Ayame reflects on how his brother was treated before he live in the Sohma house. WARNING: child abuse


**_A/N: _**Heya! This is my first fruba fic, so be kind. :)

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_**It's not as if I've forgotten.**_

I was ten years old when my brother was born, my parents adored me, as did everyone else who I knew, and they spoilt me in every way imaginable; with love, freedom and things. My life, as I grew up, was perfect.

Yuki's, however, was not.

I remember the night Mother went into labour, Father and I were sitting outside her room on a bench so hard that it couldn't _possibly_ be legal, waiting…and waiting…and waiting…

Then Mother screamed.

We immediately rushed into the ward to see Mother lying in her bed, sobbing hysterically and clutching something small and white in her hands.

A rat.

Mother has never liked rats, so you can only imagine the shock of holding your new baby son, only for him to turn into vermin. That is why Mother screamed, only then. Not even when she was actually giving birth to my brother. No, she only screamed once.

Everything for Yuki spiralled rapidly down hill from there.

When he finally transformed back, she refused to touch him, look at him or even consider him. She just stared listlessly at the wall, refusing to speak to anyone or accept their condolences. When my baby brother started to cry, she didn't even blink.

They say that the mothers of the children who are cursed by the zodiac either become very over-protective of them…or reject them completely.

I was protected.

Yuki was rejected.

For many years my brother stayed in the house, very rarely going out and on the occasional times that he did, our parents forbade him from speaking to anybody. It seemed to me, as I watched from the sideline, that he was always getting into trouble, always being punished for something or another. But I didn't care. To me, I never thought of him as my 'little brother', he was just the 'rat boy' that my parents looked after, the scapegoat of the family.

Then one day, when I was fourteen and Yuki was four, Akito came to stay with us.

I had heard about this boy before, but I had never actually met him. But when I did, I sensed the child's power instantly and it scared me. There was something dark and dangerous about Akito, something I didn't quite trust.

So, naturally, when Father wanted to put him in my room for the night, I protested,

"But why _me_?" I whined, "I don't want him in _my_ room!"

"Ayame, don't be so rude." Father admonished, but Mother was on my side,

"If Aaya doesn't want to share, then why not put Akito in Yuki's room? You wouldn't mind that, would you Akito?" He shook his head silently, watching Yuki, who was hovering nervously in the shadows, with a glint in his black eyes, a slight smirk playing upon his lips.

I do not know what Akito did to Yuki that night, but for always after, he would point blank refuse to sleep anywhere without his candle, although he would never explain why the dark frightened him so much.

But one day the candle burned out.

Father was out that evening and Yuki was, as usual, playing by himself in the corner of the living room, when Mother came in and ordered him to bed.

"But Mama, I can't." My brother whispered, "My candle's all burned up" Mother sighed,

"In that case, you will just have to make do without it tonight, won't you?"

"No Mama." She visibly started. Yuki was _never_ disagreeable! He had always been a very quiet and withdrawn child, going along with whatever anyone said, but now, he was being deliberately insolent and it was clear, to anybody watching, that Mother was very taken aback by his sudden change of temperament.

"What did you just say to me?" She hissed, eyes blazing,

"N-no Mama." I could see Yuki trembling now, but still he refused to go to bed. "I-I can't…"

"You will if I tell you to!" Mother snarled, reaching down and grabbing his arm, jerking him up and forcing him to his feet,

"No!" Yuki struggled hard against her and tried to pull away,

"Yuki, cut that out! Why are you being so disobedient?" But still my brother pulled and pulled against her, "Yuki, if you don't stop this nonsense right this minute, I'll hit you!"

And she did.

Mother raised her hand and brought it down sharply across Yuki's pale cheek.

Then she struck him again…and again…and again.

Five times she slapped him, his face reddening with each hard blow. And at the fifth, Yuki's legs failed him and he fell to the floor, whimpering quietly, one hand held gingerly up to his face. Mother took this opportunity, whilst he was still weak from her slaps, to pick him up, none too gently I might add, and carried him up to his room,

"You wait till your father comes home." I heard her say, "Then you'll be sorry." I turned away and went back to my book, he didn't matter to me, so why should I care what happened to him?

When Father returned home that evening, Mother related everything that had happened, rather elaborately, to him.

I then followed as Father went up to Yuki's room and crouched behind the door as Father shouted at him for being a 'Disobedient brat. Yuki protested and told Father about his candle and how Mother had hit him, but his pleas were cut short by the sharp snap of Father's belt being pulled free.

I winced as I listened to my brother being beaten, but not one did he cry out. He just let Father hit him, knowing that to stay silent meant that the punishment would end sooner, rather than later.

And stop it did, after about half a dozen or so hits, the room fell silent, save for my brother's quiet sobs. I rose quickly, not wanting Father to catch me eavesdropping and hid behind the door of the room opposite. When I was certain that Father had gone back downstairs, I crept into Yuki's room.

It was dark, the curtains had been drawn and the candle had burned out. But still, I could just make out the trembling silhouette of my little brother, crouched in the far corner, arms wrapped tightly around himself. As I stood in the doorway, Yuki looked up at me, purple eyes full of mistrust and fear,

"A-Ayame?" He whispered, a small hand slowly reaching up for me, longing for someone to come and comfort him, "Aaya…" I looked at him silently, wanting to feel compassion for this little boy, but nothing came.

I turned away from him and left the room, pulling the door shut behind me.

The last thing I heard that night, were Yuki's sobs echoing through my ears as he sat alone and bruised in the dark that he so desperately feared.

And still they haunt me. Reminding me of the things I should've done and of the choices I so poorly made.

I'm sorry, Little Brother.

It's not as if I've forgotten.


End file.
